Christmas Is Coming!!!

Just when I thought that this year would be really slow the last few weeks before Christmas break, things at work started to pick up a bit, threatening my attempt to take 3 whole weeks off. About the best I've ever been able to stretch the annual Christmas shutdown by taking a few additional vacation days has been 2.5 weeks total.
Until I know for certain, about the best I can predict right now is to take the 3 days after New Year for a full solid two weeks.
This semi-busy period at work and church, plus the various Christmas celebrations has inhibited my blogging of late too. So in an attempt to be brief here's what's going on in bullet point form...

- I'm back to teaching High School Sunday School(since October when the leadership turned over. We are studying the Gospel of Luke.
- I won't talk about work except to say, finished one thing, relaxed briefly, now in the thick of it on another task.
- Visted the mountains over Thanksgiving. Nice!
- My Betta fish in my office died :( (Probably from neglect/loneliness while I worked in another building for a while. Yes, he was fed regularly.)
- The weather here has been really crazy -lately it's been very cold at night.

More posting later....

The Hope Project

My friend Karla forwarded me this link and asked me what I thought. If you ever wanted to get a pretty good overview of why Christians believe in God and follow Jesus, this is it. It costs you nothing but some of your time to watch it. Produced by the folks at Mars Hill, it uses some very beautiful images along with the pieces from some acclaimed Hollywood productions to tell the most important story ever. Visit and let me know what you think.

Blogging Again

I have been officially released from the "cave" at work. Now, I can catch up on my blogging.

So many things have happened in the past two months. I am now back teaching High School Sunday School at church -we are studying the gospel of Luke right now. As part of the church's Wildwest Fall Fest, our Women's Ministries sponsored baking, sewing, craft-making, photography, chili-cookoff contests. Clueless me though forgot to take pictures of it and like many other things that needed my attention during my cavetime, the event didn't have the details I would've like to had seen. This will be rectified as I get back to a regular work/volunteer schedule.

My friends have missed my "rants" on issues that bug me and although I have some that I've been saving for a less busy time, I may hold off a bit longer. It seems that some folks appear to be offended by the things I say and write, even if it is not about them or even if it is both true and necessary for me to say such things. Note to those people: just because I say things that you disagree with, doesn't mean you get to act offended or censor my words. We live in a crazy time where some expect, rather unrealistically, I might add, to never be exposed to speech that is contrary to their deeply held feelings and beliefs. Nonsense! If you embrace immoral or unethical behavior, you can expect to hear from me that it is wrong. It never ceases to amaze me when individuals hear me say something in general about sin X, think that I am singling them out for reprobation. This is even when 25 to 50% of those listening are guilty of the same sin X behavior. If I tell a group of teenagers, for example, that I know they struggle with obeying their parents, it doesn't mean that I was thinking specifically of Sally and calling her out in front of her peers. (Sally, our mythical example, gets offended because she is doing this, has a guilty conscience like the rest of her peers who disobey their parents, and is looking for a justification for not feeling guilt -"Ann's just being mean to me".)

I could rant more on this, but as I said, I think I'll wait and blog some other stuff first.

Groundhog Day

Yes, I know it's not really Groundhog Day and I'm not making reference to the movie with Bill Murray. It's just that my life is just too busy to blog these days with my work at the "cave" and like the groundhog during a long winter, I haven't see the light of day for almost a month.
So today, like the groundhog popping his head up to see if Winter's gone, I'm popping up my head on my blog to post.
Oops, three more weeks of "Winter" for me. I'll be back then to regular blogging.

Random August Thoughts

- I've had a lot of blog visitors lately due to my posts on 22 Reasons Not To Get Married. Thanks to those who have linked here fron their blogs. From the comments I've received it sounds as if I've struck a chord with a few folks out there.

- Now that I'm back from my July vacations, I've been taking the time to do all my doctor, dentist appointments. I won't go into all the gory details but suffice it to say, some of these exams are part of my getting older. One I will mention that's not gross or too personal is my knee. For the past seven years or so, I've had a bump on my left knee caused from diving for a line drive while playing right field in our coed softball league. I landed on a plastic sprinkler head and so I have have this semi-hard knot just below my kneecap. Since I was seeing my doctor for a whole bunch of things, I decided to mention it to her -it only bothers me when I'm kneeling on the ground. "Well, you must have an x-ray of both knees," she insisted, thinking it to be a calcification. After several pics of BOTH knees, she decided (as I suggested) it was merely a fluid filled sac. She calls the Ortho who tells her its a pre-patella bursitis that cannot be drained but has to be surgically removed (in-office, though). I don't think it bothers me THAT much! I did see my x-rays though and for playing sports most of my life, I had pretty good space between my leg joints for an old lady of almost 47.

-Do you ever get frustrated that the bad guys seem to never "get theirs" in this life? I see this all the time -no wonder my favorite Bible chapter is Psalm 73 (Asaph's complaint). Every once in a while though, a little justice is served -the murderer is executed, the prideful/boastful are humbled, the thief is caught and punished, the slacker at work is fired, the bully gets pummeled. We are tempted in all these situations to gloat and say, "Ha, you had it coming." Recently, I've had the opportunity to observe a little "earthly justice" with my own eyes. (I'm not ready to describe the circumstances about that yet.) Part of me wants to be able to say, "I told you so," but that wouldn't be very Christ-like. Still, it does give me hope for those times when I complain that life seems so terribly unfair. God is still on the throne.

A New Blog to Check Out

Last year, I mentioned my friends Daniel and Allison Felton who are missionaries with Christian Surfers in Alaska (yes, people do surf in Alaska). Well, Daniel has finally started his own blog.
Follow the link and check it out. He has a gorgeous picture posted.

Away at Children's Camp

Ok this week I'm blogging over at the Lightseekers Camp blog I set up when our website crashed.

You can read of our exciting adventures there.

22 Reasons Why You Should Not Get Married (Or At Least Delay Doing So), Part 5

21. You or your beloved have a problem staying in relationships. Perhaps one of you has been engaged or married multiple times and you keep wondering “what went wrong”. A pastor once told me that he would never perform a marriage ceremony for a divorced person if they didn’t know and understand the reason for the break-up. It was sort of a personal relationships version of the saying, “Those who do not learn the lessons of the past, are condemned to repeat them.” I didn’t fully understand what the minister meant until I had friend that exhibited this problem. When I met this lady, she had been married to one guy and engaged, to different men, a few times before that. For both of her engagements, she had called the weddings off because she had gotten “cold feet”. When the third guy proposed, she thought it would be better to get married regardless of the fact he was allegedly violent. Soon after I met her she became engaged and then married to yet another guy. Although she claimed the both divorces were the husbands’ fault, the characteristics that she later deemed unacceptable were there before they married. Another friend was married several times to women who always were the ones to leave him despite the fact that he didn’t abuse or cheat on any of them –they were more often the ones who did. What was it about these two divorced persons that caused them to marry and divorce over and over again? I think it was that they had issues in their own lives that caused them to choose the “wrong” mate –for the lady, it was problems on her part of commitment and understanding what a marriage entails; while for my male friend, he was so obsessed in being in a relationship, that he would pick losers who wanted to be married. Had either taken the time in counseling earlier to find out their “issues”, they would’ve been spared the heartache of a few of these broken marriages. Another truth I learned from the pastor friend, was that there is no such thing as the “truly innocent party”. Even where one spouse was a lying, cheating louse, the other may have contributed a tiny percent of the blame by ignoring the warning signs prior to or during marriage. Perhaps even inattention to the guilty partner, gave them a sense of justification, however wrongly, for their bad deeds. You must learn what part you played in the break-up even if it was relatively minor, otherwise that scenario could be replayed.

22. You can serve or live for Christ better as a single person. This is my own number one reason for not being married.
As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7,

“I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.” (New Living Translation)

Now I do believe that for some folks in ministry, being married has an advantage –I don’t believe that I, as a single woman, would be taken credibly if I were to teach a class on marital life to group of young married couples, for example. I do have flexibility in my schedule that has allowed me to takes weeks off to spend at camp with youth and children; I don’t have a husband to ask if it’s okay if I spend every night out this week at church either. I am also not tempted to trust in a spouse to supply needs that only God should be supplying (on the other hand, my temptation is to rely on me instead). My guess is that I probably wouldn’t be a very faithful and devoted Christian since I tend to be somewhat single-minded in my attention; unless my husband would really hold my feet to the fire spiritually, I would find it easier to rationalize away Christian commitment as taking away from “family time”.

OK, so I’m done for now with my list of reasons not to get married. A friend who reads my blog said this in an email, “That was way too easy … there are as many reasons not to get married as there are dysfunctional people. Can you name as many reasons "to" get married?” I told her that since people seem to be constantly running headlong into marriage, the ones considering it already have theirs –they could probably list dozens of “why to’s.” I have nothing against people getting married if they are healthy, mature, prudent men and women who love God and each other, and have decided to make a lifetime commitment, as best friends, to build and strengthen one another. They are couples who really know what it means to be a family and the Christian community is enriched by their relationship. However with divorce rates in the Church approaching (even sometimes exceeding) those in the secular world, someone needs to ask why are we so quick to get married and see marriage alone as the source of human fulfillment. Hopefully, these postings might cause someone getting married for all the wrong reasons to reconsider and postpone until those “reasons” reflect the deliberations of wise adults. It might also give encouragement to the single who feels the tug of war between the single life and living up to societal expectations to get married.

Now, I’m ready for the comments!

22 Reasons Why You Should Not Get Married (Or At Least Delay Doing So), Part 4

I didn't blog on the weekend because I was at a funeral Saturday and then had to prepare for VBS (it starts today). Here's the fourth installment of my series:

16. You have to give up one of your “non-negotiables” to marry your beloved. By this, I refer to those lists we all make of what sort of person or characteristics of them that we would never accept or those we could not do without. These might be called issues of compatibility. I had a dear friend that told me that she would only marry a Christian guy who was committed to full-time Christian ministry (as either a pastor or missionary). Well, she met this guy who wasn’t even a believer and fell in love because he paid her the proper attention that Christian men didn’t. Day by day, the compromises on her part, naturally became more frequent until finally she abandoned her own faith completely. Although she did not end-up marrying him (he had become physically abusive and she finally decided she could do better), it was a very difficult and painful lesson. Another friend started dating a guy who, although he was a Christian, was less than enthusiastic about following Christ; he was also a smoker (she really disliked smoking) and was not a fan of having children. After a short courtship and against the advice of friends and family, the couple married. Are you surprised to hear that he didn’t quit smoking, was a lousy father and that they eventually divorced? Don’t settle for someone less just because you’re getting older and you’re afraid no one “better” will come along.

17. You haven’t been dating very long and don’t know your spouse-to-be very well. Speaking of short courtship, I’ve heard of people meeting, falling in love “at first sight” and then getting married right away. (This premise, by the way, is the story-line for the old WWII-era movie, “Orchestra Wives”, and it led to some painful moments for the “spontaneous newlyweds” in the drama.) I have not heard what percentage of these quickie relationships ends in divorce, but I suppose that if you start off with a steadfast commitment to stay married no matter what, the success rate might be higher. Still, marrying someone you know little or nothing about seems to me a highly risky endeavor. How would you know what their values, hopes and dreams are? What are their views on the “big ones mentioned in part one? I once heard that friendships take over 100 hours of quality time to develop and that the best friendships need more than 1000 hours. Assuming one spent 4 hours a day in deep conversation (sitting quietly next to someone in a crowded theater or ballpark doesn’t count towards this time), it would take 25 days to become friends and 250 days of this interaction to become best friends, the sort of level of relationship one would need in order to marry. (I am a big believer in that you and your spouse should be best friends!). 250 days is almost nine months of daily interaction prior to getting married. Even more challenging is when you have never dated before. Getting a variety of casual dating experiences can help you figure out what you need in a relationship and how to determine if someone is compatible with you or not – not that going out with bozos in order to be able to compare against the “keepers” is what you want either. My advice is this: learn to develop healthy friendships with members of the opposite sex; from that group, you will eventually find a mate.

18. You are trying to make someone else jealous, get their attention or get revenge on a person for rejecting you. You have got to be kidding! That sounds like something from an early 19th century romance novel (see Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte’ or Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen). If you’ve heard of either of these two stories, you know that things do not end well for those who marry this way. Oh, grow up and get a life! The person you really wanted didn’t want you so don’t ruin someone else’s life in a futile attempt to get yours.

19. You or your beloved can’t cut the apron strings or give up being Daddy’s girl. If either partner has a problem with the whole “leave and cleave” thing that God says in Genesis 2 needs to happen, get out now! I have known couples where this situation was so severe, that the marriage broke up very quickly. A guy who takes his mother’s side against wife should not be surprised if she leaves him and takes the kids along with her. One fellow’s mother absolutely despised her future daughter-in-law and constantly encouraged her son to break up with the girl. Rather than respectfully telling his mom to knock it off, the young man would then tell his girlfriend what his mother had said about her. When the girl complained about his passive reaction to his mother’s vitriol, he merely shrugged. They married anyway, but things between the two women only got worse while the son felt torn between them. Sadly, they ended up divorcing soon after the wedding. Daddy’s girls can be just as bad potential spouses when they seek the father’s love, attention, respect and help more than their husband’s – no man wants to compete for that against his father-in-law.

20. You don’t have the money to get married. Just as I said that you should not get married to get money, don’t get married if you don’t have the money to pay for a wedding or set up a household. When I say paying for a wedding, what I mean is couples who choose to incur thousands of dollars of personal debt to host the wedding ceremony of a lifetime. Anybody who thinks this way is a dope and is not worthy of getting married. Equally dopey are couples who have no clue how they will support themselves afterward. It is also not a good idea to get married if one partner has lost or about to lose their job if you were counting on that person’s income to make ends meet. A relative of mine married a man who quit/got fired just before the wedding. “No problem, “he claimed, “I’ll just find a new one.” In the meantime his bride was forced to support them while he looked. In the two years time they were married, he didn’t work much at all but continued to spend as if he did. Due to this and his other irresponsible behaviors, she threatened to leave him if he did not change. He told her he had no intention of doing anything differently, so she left. One doesn’t need to be rich in order to get married, but one must have a reasonable plan of earning a wage that is appropriate for one’s standard of living. For years, I have heard people say, “We don’t need money, we’ll just live on love.” (A Christianized-version is “Don’t worry, God will provide.”) Well, love does not pay bills nor do creditors accept it as a form of payment. As for the “God will provide” mentality, the Bible says that the man who does not provide for his family, “has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

Tomorrow should be the final installment of my series....

22 Reasons Why You Should Not Get Married (Or At Least Delay Doing So), Part 3

Here's the third installment of my advice:

11. You are much younger/older than your intended. Age gaps of ten or more years between partners are sources of additional relationship stress that need to be considered –is he/she searching for a parental figure? Does he/she prefer sweet young things because he/she is too immature (or shallow, only focused on physical appearance) to relate with people their own age? A difference of more than ten years often means that the two lovebirds were born and raised in two different generations with all that it entails culturally and experientially. I have know quite a few couples where this was the case (in truth, my own parents were 25 and 34 when they got married and they were from different generations, for example). Can you imagine sitting around with your friends talking about your favorite “Back to the Future” movie when your beloved comes in and refers to Michael J. Fox as that “old guy with Parkinson’s”? This generation gap is particularly true when one partner in the relationship is very young (i.e. in their teens) or very old (Howard Marshall and Anna Nicole Smith, for example). The teenager is still in adolescence and has the most significant amount of emotional/mental maturation still ahead or him/her. (Were you the same person at 25 that you were at 18 or 19? For the 30 year old marrying a 19 or 20 year old, which one of you is more likely to have outgrown the other?) What about those May/December romances? Well, it might seem cute for a while, perhaps even advantageous for reasons of money or lifestyle –what 25 year old can afford the perks that come with being in an established career or having an investment portfolio for twenty years? – will it remain fun years later when you are middle-aged and caring for your old geezer of a husband’s arthritis or urinary incontinence? Perhaps, you will get dumped when he trades you in for a “newer” model.

12. You are using marriage to rectify a mistake. I once had a guy try to con me into sex by saying that “it would be okay if we did it and then got married later.” No, it doesn’t work that way – compounding the sin of sex outside marriage with the stupidity of thinking that subsequent marriage to your fellow offender somehow negates that sin doesn’t make it better. Yet, I have heard some really dumb girls actually believe that had to marry a guy they did not love because they had fooled around with him. Even more dumb is to marry a guy just because you are pregnant (ever hear of adoption???). Having a shotgun wedding? People will never find out (wink, wink) that’s the reason you’re really getting married. Consider this, how do you think your children will react when the figure out why their parents got married? Do you think that they will have lots of confidence that you are married because you love one another or because you had an obligation to meet? What does that do to their sense of security? I knew a couple who got married because “they had to” –they hastily eloped to “make things right”. However, she later lost the baby and not long after, her jerk of a husband filed for divorce. It didn’t cover up anything and merely demonstrated what a cad he was in the beginning to pressure her into sex. A third really stupid scenario is the man/woman that has an affair that breaks up a marriage and then feels the need to marry their paramour to try to regain some sense of respectability. It’s not happening!

13. You (or your beloved) are recently coming out of a broken relationship. You broke-up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, got divorced, were widowed –you are on the rebound. “Recently” can mean months or years if you are still moping around about the loss. How can you tell? How often do they mention their former love’s name or compare you to them? Rebound relationships never last; when the hurting one has healed, they will move on to someone else and leave you hurting instead. Consider them “transitional relationships” only and be prepared to move on.

14. Your minor children object to you remarrying this person. This might seem extremely harsh but it’s not as strict as radio personality Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s advice that if you have a child, you don’t even date until they turn 18 whether the child objects to it or not. It is not fair to bring someone into a family as a step-whatever if it will ruin the lives of the children God has entrusted you to care for. I know we have this fantasy from the Brady Bunch television show that the kids will all get along with one another and will call the parents, “Mom” or “Dad”; the reality, based on statistics, is that children in blended families are more likely to have problems and be victims of abuse. You might say, “My children need a new mother or father, it’s not my fault my spouse died or left me.” That may be true, but remember what I said about using marriage to rectify a mistake or right a wrong –it tends to create more problems, than it solves.

15. One of you is severely broken. Remember what I said about “baggage” and expecting personality/behavior changes after the wedding? Try to get healing before pursuing the relationship any further. If you are an addict or an abusive person, get help right away. Do not get married until then if sexual, physical or child abuse has occurred. If you are mentally ill or emotionally disturbed, get that under control first. If you are sick with a life-threatening disease, get treatment for that. This isn’t Ali McGraw and Ryan O’Neal in “Love Story” for gosh sakes. Marriage isn’t going to make it all better. A knew a guy with only a few months to live that proposed marriage to one of his close female friends (they weren’t a couple at the time). His friend told him that she didn’t see the purpose of getting married just to say that you are married –it’s not like God stands at the pearly gates and asks if you were. He didn’t need her to take care of him either as he was nearly always hospitalized by then, but it was one of those things on his “to do list” before he died. Where was the commitment to her on his part that is necessary for marriage?

Hold on, still at least one more to come...

22 Reasons Why You Should Not Get Married (Or At Least Delay Doing So), Part 2

Continued from yesterday

You should not get married if:

6. You are of a different ethnic group or from a different culture than your spouse-to-be. Why that sounds racist!!! Not at all, even in today’s overly PC society, there are still issues to be resolved (more baggage) from marrying outside your clan. I’m not saying never marry someone from a different group, but consider how those differences will play out in the lives of your parents, your extended family and eventually your children. Different cultures have different expectations and traditions. An American man married a woman from a different culture (she was Asian). Her parents felt that he was lazy because he did not work as many hours at his job as men form their culture did. They also viewed him as not being as respectful of his elders as they would like and that he did not teach that respect to the children. Quietly, but persistently her parents urged their daughter to leave him and return to their culture. In another situation, the bride was the outsider to the dominant culture the couple lived in. His mother and aunts were distressed that she did not know how to prepare their ethnic dishes or celebrate their traditions. These women certainly let their son and nephew know that she was not “a proper wife” for him and did not accept their offspring as authentic [their ethnic group]. Even when both families are “Americanized”, issues of race and the problems bi-racial children that are the produced by these marriages face are not trivial - identify, understand and work through each of them.

7. You are getting married to escape something/someone. This is always a very bad reason-not to escape a dysfunctional home, not to get away from an old beau that is stalking you. You are not Rapunzel or Snow White being carried away from the evil witch by the handsome prince. Get a job and move out on your own if you need to get away. Better yet, get therapy and discover why you are so messed up or why you allow yourself to be victimized still as an adult. Do not marry to escape or rescue someone else, you will most likely end up divorced once you are no longer in need/needed.

8. You are getting married to get something you don’t have –self esteem, money, status, sex, children, power, or a green card. Do I really have to explain why these by themselves are bad reasons to get married? They may end up as being fringe benefits of being married, but real good reasons are all about commitment, sharing, love, integrity, friendship. While society has quit equating getting married with having sex, Christians (or at least most of them hopefully) still confine sex to marriage. Yet, even in our sex obsessed culture, pressuring couples into early marriage in order to maintain chastity is nuts, as is the notion that everyone needs to get married and have kids in order to be “normal”. For non-Christians, having children outside of wedlock is no longer taboo anyway. But having or adopting children should not be just the latest fashion trend (despite what Britney Spears or Angelina Jolie think). The last bad reason mentioned above, obtaining a green card, will get you in trouble with the law if they catch you.

9. You are getting married because everybody else is or you feel pressure from society to do so. Didn’t your mother ever say to you, “Would you jump off a cliff just because everyone else did?” I know our society, especially our church culture, puts a premium on being married by a certain age (although in the past twenty years, more and more are delaying marriage past age 30 for men and women). I also know the pressure young women feel when: a) your first group of friends get married post high school and you’ve never even had a boyfriend; b) you’re your second wave of friends are all getting married after college –seems like you are always the bridesmaid, never the bride; c) you are approaching age 30 or 35 or 40 and are worried that time is running out on being both a wife and mother. For the first two groups, I’ve heard girls refer to going to college as obtaining their MRS degree or of Christian colleges that quietly promote, “Ring by Spring or your money back!” It’s too bad that our culture isn’t promoting becoming a mature, responsible individual instead. How about the church focusing on developing godly men and women who love and serve Jesus regardless of their marital status?

10. You are not mature. This is along the lines of what I was getting at in the previous reason. I’ve seen far too many marriages of teenagers lately –people who are still in school, who have no money saved, who often have low –wage jobs, not real careers. They often have no clue about housing costs and paying bills. They have never taken care of themselves, much less a spouse (and Lord help them if a baby were to come along too soon). People who might consider moving in with their parents after they got married just “until we get on our feet” have no business walking down the aisle. Stand on your own two feet first, then make the wedding march.

Still more on tap....

22 Reasons Why You Should Not Get Married (Or At Least Delay Doing So), Part 1

I’ve had it! I’ve heard the story of yet another Bridezilla (see Emily Yoffe's article in Slate magazine, thanks to Jan for the link. I love the phrase "acquired situational narcissism")emerging as she tries to engineer her perfect wedding day without regard to her friends/family needs or what her marriage to her beloved would really be like after the honeymoon was over. The problem with many of these Bridezillas is that they think they are only preparing for a party (the ceremony and reception) and are not anyways nearly prepared for the lifetime that ensues –major issues that should be discussed and decided upon before the ceremony are set aside while choosing china patterns or wedding color schemes. For this reason, I have decided, from my position as a never-married older single, to give a list of why these ladies should “call the whole thing off” or at least delay getting hitched. I'll give you my first five reasons today.

You should not get married if:

1. You are unequally yoked. What do I mean? The Apostle Paul says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (New King James Version). People have taken that to mean, “Christians, don’t marry non-Christians.” I could leave it right there as it is, but I also think you’re headed for trouble if you and your beloved are both Christians, but at different places spiritually. I have known many a case where the “Christian husband” has no desire for his own spiritual growth; he may be content with going to church on Sunday and seeing that his children are given spiritual instruction, but don’t expect him to have his own time with God, study the Bible or volunteer in ministry. He may even resent his wife if she does these things. (Note: I have also seen the wife be the Christian dud married to the Christian stud.) If you want to truly share your faith with your spouse, then only marry someone who shares your faith and faith practices before you get engaged.

2. You are expecting a personality or behavior change after the wedding. Someone very dear to me married a scoundrel expecting him to turn into a saint once she had the opportunity as his wife to “change him”. Did it work? NO!!!! He remained a rat through most of their many long years of marriage. This is especially true if your beloved has an addiction or compulsive personality disorder. The drugs, alcohol, gambling, cheating, lying will nearly always win out. “Lazy loafs” do not suddenly become up-and-at-em, go-getters just because they get a marriage license and ring. People who are violent and hit others will probably get violent and hit you. Sex addicts and perverts will be what they are. Yes, Christ can transform the vilest offender but only if they truly desire to be transformed –if you will marry the creep, warts and all, without this transformation, why should they bother to make the change?

3. You haven’t discussed and decided on the “big ones”. These are: handling money (who does what and how), having children (how many/when, family planning, child discipline), power (who makes what decisions). Then there are career choices, living arrangements, dealing with in-laws, sleep schedule to name a few. A woman wanting 10 kids has no business marrying a guy who wants none; it’s unfair to both and manipulative to try to “renegotiate the deal” afterwards. A know a couple like that – the husband lied about wanting to have children to the woman he married. She did manage to con him into having four of them, but he was a lousy and distant father. I know a morning person married to a night owl and it has been hard for them to adapt to each other’s schedule. Get these issues out on the table and don’t think that you can get them to have a change of heart.

4. Your family and friends despise your beloved. How is that everyone but you thinks she/he’s bad news? Why can’t they see what you see? Perhaps they have an objectivity towards this person you don’t. Can so many have it all wrong? Proverbs 15:22 (New Living Translation) says, “Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.” I think if your intended’s presence sets off warning bells from the people who know you best, pay attention. Also be wary of your relationship supporters who approve of your relationship because it affirms their own, perhaps poor, choice in a spouse. It is not the best endorsement to have a woman married to an alcoholic encourage you to do the same, for instance.

5. You are unaware of the existence or are unwilling to carry each other’s “baggage”. Baggage is that catch all word for prior relationships, marriages, children from the above said relationships, life traumas, bad childhood, the past, phobias, addictions, illnesses, conditions, compulsions, etc. Every person brings some amount of baggage into any relationship –some bring little overnight bags, perhaps a break-up or two with a high school sweetie. The bags get a bit bigger with the death of a parent when you were young, to a failed “starter marriage” to a point where some bring entire shipping containers into their relationship- three or four failed marriages, yours-mine-and-ours families, stories or repeated sexual or child abuse and histories of alcoholism. We are told in Galatians 6:2 to “share each other’s burdens” but sometimes the enormity and weight of these issues is just too much to bear. Perhaps the one with these grave issues needs to deal with them in counseling BEFORE you try to move them in under one roof. Allow time to heal if wounds are fresh or new.

More to follow....

Nerd Test

So I took this Nerd Test:




It rates me as a Nerd God. Is anyone surprised?

5 Things About Jesus

So I've been tagged by Laura for this meme: 5 Things About Jesus.



1. Jesus is the most well-known person who has every lived but none of us alive have even a clue about what He looks like. I was reminded of this when I was looking for a particular picture of Jesus to use as a sermon background. Some people depict Him as lily white with blond hair and blue eyes, but I've also seen Black Jesus, Asian Jesus -few of them look like Middle Eastern Jew Jesus.

2. Jesus is incredibly patient and restrained. You know I wouldn't be happy if people called me a devil or treated me with disrespect. I certainly wouldn't have stood for people beating me, mocking me or crucifying me if I had the power to strike them all dead. People still ridicule Him today and yet He holds back His righteous anger.

3. Jesus is not impressed by wealth, good-looks, status or fame. Instead, He has a special fondness for the humble, the meek, the lowly, the brokenhearted, the downcast, what we would call the dregs of society. Those that need and seek Him, will surely find Him.

4. Jesus is the most courageous person ever to have lived. To know, from eternity past, that He would have to live on earth as a human and then die a horrible death in order to save His rebellious creatures would take far more bravery than any warrior, statesman or martyr ever exhibited.

5. Jesus loves me. The most profound line in all of Christian hymnody: "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so." This truth changes the course of my life for all eternity and yet He does so for reasons completely unknown to me other than His very nature being love. It is profound, yet personal and intimate.

Find Another Dating Pool, Part 2

A year ago, I posted on the tasteless phenomena of teachers dating their students (see post here). I don't know if it's because schools are letting out for the summer, but another one of these icky relationships has been reported in the news this week. Seems this 16 year old track star married her 40 year old coach on Monday. ABC News reported that her parents had gone to school authorities and to the man's pastor to get them to intervene to no avail (there doesn't seem to be law against this behavior in North Carolina where this took place.) What is even more bizarre is that after they were unsuccessful in their bid to stop this, the parents went ahead and gave her written consent to marry the weirdo.

Most everyone connected with the story agreed that the relationship was not right (77% of those in ABC's on-line poll thought it was wrong, too), but they all seemed powerless to do anything. Really? Nothing they could've done? Oh I don't know, the school could've fired the guy for having a romantic relationship with a student, the man's pastor could've thrown him out of the church and refused to perform the wedding, but most of all, the parents could've refused to sign and made her wait until she was 18. The guy did resign from his job, but only after he got the girl to marry him.

The expert quoted in the ABC News story was asked if the girl was old enough to decided: "With most teenagers, they're not sure yet who's who and what's what and what should be done," said Henry Paul, author of the book "Is My Teenager OK?" "It's obviously up to the adult figure to set the boundaries." And that was my point from a year ago: adults in a position of authority should be prohibited from having romantic relationships with their students/counselees/clients/patients/parishioners -period. The adults who allow these relationships to continue share somewhat in the blame for the inevitable marital failure when the young person finally wakes up and wonders how they were sucked in by their Svengali.

And You Know Me How?

In the previous post, I talked about trying to remain incognito. Speaking of being recognized by strangers, my father and his buddy recently went to Hume Lake Christian Camp Fishermen's Retreat. Now this shocked me on so many levels, one, that he'd drive all the way there for a Christian Men's conference -see my reason below as referring to the distance. Second, that he'd go on a fishing weekend (since when does he like to fish?). Third, that he would go away from his wife and business for relaxation. The one that surprised me the most was the following story he told me.

As the guys were checking themselves in at the Registrar, my dad gives his last name (BTW, our last name is very unique) and the young lady waiting on them says, "Are you related to Ann?" "Yes," he tells her, "I'm her father." Of course, he doesn't bother to ask her name or how she knows me (For those who don't know California, Hume Lake is a seven hour drive away from me. Consequently, we haven't gone there as a church for over a decade, so how this girl knows me or who she is, is anyone's guess.) I hope she knows me not for some infamous action on my part, but because I possibly influenced/taught her in youth ministry. The only "unsettling" issue is that I tend to know whereabouts of most of the people I feel I've positively influenced and I've been wracking my brains to try to figure out who it might be.

On an encouraging note, for years I've been known as Roy So-and so's daughter; now he got to be known as Ann's father. Amusing.

Bowling For Father's Day

Okay, so rather than just going out to eat for Father's Day, my new brother-in-law suggested to my sister that we all go bowling to celebrate. Hey, I like bowling, I used to bowl in lunchtime work league and so I own my own ball and shoes, let's go as long as this is fine with Daddy.
She called my dad and his wife and they agreed. We go to this new upscale bowling alley called the Lucky Strike Lanes. But this place is not your greasy spoon diner type food, it's like a nightclub after 9pm with DJ's and plasma screen TVs. Pretty good food, but I did terrible at bowling, even my sister with her long, manicured nails did better than I did in the second game. Daddy did okay for a guy of 82, but tweaked a hamstring (his wife Sara said that he had already tweaked it walking around the farm yesterday) and sat out the second game.

You can see some pics from this on my Flickr down on the right side or read Laura's blog for her view of it. There's even a picture there of me! [Something you will rarely see here so I can remain somewhat incognito ; -) ]

Splat Happens

In my long career working in the Aerospace industry, I have noticed a phenomenon that I have titled "Splat Syndrome". Splat is what happens when a deer or some other animal caught in the headlights of an oncoming car, refuses (or is unable by some mental paralysis) to move out of the way before it is too late. The deer goes splat against the vehicle.

In Splat Syndrome, a person knows that bad news is coming their way potentially and yet, for whatever reason, they are unable to make the necessary corrective steps to avoid being devastated by such news. (note: there are some catastrophes that are unavoidable, but I'm referring to those over which we do have a measure of control.)

I first observed Splat Syndrome over 20 years ago when I was a young engineer. I saw some fellows get layoff notices and watched them complain for the next two months about having to find a new job while they did nothing towards finding one.

One guy I observed a few years later, had been warned for months that layoffs were coming for his position and that he was particularly in danger due to his low seniority. When the layoff notice finally came, he was given an additional three months (with pay!) to find a new position. One of the supervisiors lined him up with an interview at another nearby company. That company offered him a better job with more pay that he turned down because he thought maybe he could find something even better. Another co-worker turned him on to a civil service job with even more pay, less work and excellent job security. He had successfully interviewed for that position and only needed to take an easy written exam to secure the job. Instead, he was over an hour late for the test, which he could have walked to from his house - so no excuses about about transportation, and decided to blow it off. After he finally lost his job, he still remained in denial about needing to actually send out resumes, go on interviews and show up on time. Unemployment eventually ran out and he was forced to move in with his family. SPLATTTTTTT.

Every once in a while, I see the same patterns of behavior repeated over and over by different people - not just when they received layoff notices, but sometimes when they were forced to move to a new apartment, or even when they'd had been warned that their job behavior needed to change. They instead were gripped with this paralysis and rather than doing what any sensible person would do, they were run over by circumstances and left wondering as to how this happened.

I've recently observed a person I know, fortunately not at my company, about to become splatted. Those around them have warned that things need to change -the boss, their co-workers, even the person's friends have tried, all to no avail. The individual acts as though they are daring the boss to fire them and perhaps they are -the soon-to-be splattee shows everyone around them that they no longer desire to work there and they are looking for a career change.
Too bad that they don't have the fortitude and integrity to do it themselves, but again, maybe Splat Syndrome really is some sort of mental glitch that keeps them locked into a terrible fate. Who knows?

I Wonder???

Recently, I was reading a young (approximately 30ish), single, Christian woman's post where she was writing about her desire to get married and have children ASAP. I won't link to it here, mainly because her identity and actual post are not relevant to this particular discussion. For one thing, I know many young women who are in the exactly same situation that she's in -the old "biological clock" is ticking away and no decent prospects for a Christian husband are in sight. Each of them could've written the exact same words with the same lament and sense of urgency.

As I've ministered to high school, college age, and young singles for over 25 years, I have heard these words over and over again. I've seen some find good guys and get married, just the way they envisioned life for themselves, but I've also seen those for whom the "right man" never came; so they are left with either settling for someone far less than their ideal or suffering in their singleness. Since singleness is called "the gift that nobody wants", I know far more of these ladies who settled for Mr. Wrong and now are either single again after divorce or are miserable in their marriage.

As I approach the point of being nearly 20 years beyond that life stage, I reflect on my own life and whether or not it has turned out as I expected. Of course 20 years ago I didn't think that I would still be single either. But as life, and I believe God, soon showed me, not everyone is meant to be married or have kids. That truth in and of itself is more than okay although I didn't come by it in an instant. For me, not having a mother around when I entered my twenties, probably took some of the pressure off. It also helped to have a strong grandmother who spent most of her adult life without a man. Even my maternal grandmother, although married for more than 50 years, saw the advantage of only marrying for an outstanding godly man over settling with any old guy that showed an interest. That fact helped me to focus on building my career and ministries instead.

I think our society, particularly our Christian community still puts a premium on becoming a wife and mother as necessary to one's being and calling. From the time we are little girls, we are programmed to aspire to be a wife and mother. Even career women are told that they can "have it all " by juggling these roles as necessary. In reality, we seem to gloss over Paul's recommendation in 1 Corinthians 7 that singles stay that way to better serve the Lord. It is not helpful when singles' and young adult's ministries are designed around helping them find mates rather than becoming a faithful follower of Jesus Christ. (For more on this subject, I found Kristin Aune's book Single Women to be a great resource.)

Has my life turned out the way I'd dreamt it 10, 20 or even 30 years ago? In some ways, yes, in others, no. Thirty years ago, while I was in high school, I only thought about being a rich engineer (an oxymoron I know now); I got the engineer part right and compared to a lot of my peers from high school I'm doing pretty well. However, that was a life planned that had no room for God in it. A few years later, much of that thinking had turned a different direction with a new focus on Christ. I think that girl would be surprised at the present one that I was not further along in Christ-like behavior and godliness. Somehow that envisioned one would be highly regarded as a Christian speaker, wife and mother (who just happened to have an engineering degree, too). The me of 10-20 years ago by then would not have been disappointed to be single still, but would be sorry to hear that I was out of youth ministry again (perhaps, she'd wonder why her church would still be choosing people in leadership that would initiate such things). Oh, and I'd have travelled more and done more interesting things too.

Well, what does the future ten years from now hold? Should the Lord tarry, I will be retired and free to minister full-time on my retirement money and investments. But, the thing is we don't know, we are not guaranteed of tomorrow and you know what they say about the best laid plans... The point is, we don't (or aren't supposed to) live life in an holding pattern, treading water in place until the right man, the right job, the right ministry or the right opportunity comes along. God, like the master in the parable of the talents, has given us the wherewithall to serve Him and live life to its fullest in the now. I am responsible for what I do or don't do with it. That applies equally to my 30 something gal pals who are desperate for Mr. Right to come along and change their life. If he comes, great, if not, you will have helped to build God's kingdom or reflected Christ's love. There are no regrets for that life.

The Ends Do Not Justify The Means?

I came across this article while on the Yahoo! site. Someone asked if one's personal beliefs make it okay to commit a crime. While there may be circumstances when civil disobedience may be in order such as a refusal to obey unjust law - the lunch counter demonstrations and Rosa Parks during the civil rights movement, conscientious objectors refusing to go war, Christians refusing to obey totalitarian laws prohibiting prayer, owning Bibles or meeting together are examples of this, there is a difference between refusing to obey a law and actively planning action to subvert the justice system or government.

The woman in the article chose the path of subverting the justice system by committing perjury and fraud in order to try to get this man on death row. She chose to commit a crime that undermined the integrity of the criminal justice system out of her belief that the Death Penalty is wrong. I don't share her views on the Death Penalty but I also disagree with anti-abortionist that bomb clinics or assassinate clinic workers. Where these tactics differ from the civil disobedience described earlier is that the civil disobedient refuse to DO something such as sit at the back of the bus or they prefer to disobey man to obey God's command while the others do something considered immoral because they do not trust working within the system to change the law they disagree with. The ones committing crimes to gain their ends are also trying to avoid detection/prosecution of their unlawful actions while those who are committing acts of civil disobedience disobey openly and are willing to accept the consequences of their actions.

Paul writes in Romans 13:

"Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you. The authorities are God’s servants, sent for your good. But if you are doing wrong, of course you should be afraid, for they have the power to punish you. They are God’s servants, sent for the very purpose of punishing those who do what is wrong. So you must submit to them, not only to avoid punishment, but also to keep a clear conscience.
Pay your taxes, too, for these same reasons. For government workers need to be paid. They are serving God in what they do. Give to everyone what you owe them: Pay your taxes and government fees to those who collect them, and give respect and honor to those who are in authority."

The idea here is that Christians need obey government authorities and will suffer the consequences when they don't. Some people point the American Revolution as an example of Christians not obeying Paul's admonition, but these revolutionaries did attempt to redress their issues through normal political means -they resorted to rebellion when those peaceful means resulted in more repression from an occupying government. The Colonists formed their own government and the Revolutionary War was fought under the direction of the Continental Congress. Even then, as we read in the Declaration of Independence, they were prepared to sacrifice their "Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor". This not the same as bombing abortion clinics, committing fraud or committing acts of terror.

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Answering The Call

No, faithful blog readers, I am not joining the army nor am I going into ministry full-time, I going to explain where I've been this past month instead of here blogging about my most exciting life. Actually, I haven't been gone anywhere location-wise, it's just that I have been putting my punditry to use elsewhere on the Internet.

About a month ago, I started exploring Yahoo! Answers Religion and Spirituality Forum (now before you think I went off and joined some cult, read more). I noticed that people on there were asking some pretty serious questions about God, Jesus, faith, the Bible, Christianity -you name it. I saw a question someone asked "Do you think if there weren't any Atheists, there would be more peace?" and noticed that there were a lot of atheists, agnostics and unbelievers giving answers, but the "Christians" either gave lame answers or were out-numbered. That got me going and I've been answering questions since then. Now in truth, there are some pretty outrageous inflammatory q&a there that I mostly avoid, but there are some sincere inquiries from people of all faiths (or none). What is scary is that there are also Mormons, JW's, pagans, and Muslims trying very hard to convert people to their belief systems. Although it is a challenge, I see it as an opportunity to share what I believe, giving an answer for the hope that is within me. Since I am no longer teaching youth, I have taken it as a means to instruct and counsel those who are genuine seekers. I don't kid myself into thinking that I've been reaching a lot of people with my answers, but it is thought provoking and you know, if I can touch at least one life with the Gospel, great.

I answered a Muslim woman's question last week where she wanted to understand if God was sacrificing Himself, to appease Himself to right the wrongs done against Him. I told her the story of the young person caught speeding and forced to appear before the judge. The speeder couldn't pay the fine, but the judge took off his robe, pulled out his wallet and paid the fine, because the speeder was his kid. I explained how Jesus did that very thing by His death, paying the price of our wrong doing. She said that it was the first time in 25 years that she understood Jesus' sacrifice. Wow!

Now, I can't hang there all the time - I have a job to do and ministries to serve in, but it is good to know that this one small thing can used to move a person along in their journey.

Ooh, time for bed; it's way too late and I have much to do tomorrow. I have a whole bunch of things to blog about too. One is about a lady who committed fraud and perjury to get a Death Row Inmate off because she's opposed to the Death Penalty. Another is about some people who have written to me complaining that I'm a poor example of Christ in my blog. Plus there's things to share about some of my other ministries.

March Madness

No, I'm not going to post about men's college hoops (although I am pleased that UCLA is in the Final Four) but just about what's been going on this past month.

March is that incredibly long month halfway between my first paid holiday of the year (New Year's Day) and the next one (Memorial Day). For those of you who think that's totally uncool, remember I do get 13 or 14 paid holidays a year -just none of them are in the first quarter of the year. It is hard though, to hear about your friends getting MLK day, President's Day off while you have to go off to work. March is also the month that my regular sick leave gets zeroed out so the notion of taking a "mental health day" is not so attractive either. Taking a day or two of vacation is possible, but it seems dumb to use it "just because" and not go anywhere.

Anyway, in the midst of all this my life has had enough craziness and things to get me down that it's time to blog about them. Consider:

1. Actually it happened last month, but I'm now only recovering from the laughability of it. You see, just about a year ago my work group moved out of our building (and our lovely hardwalled offices) into what's called "the factory", in an area with a cubicle farm that holds several hundred people. The area we were moving into had been largely vacant for several months prior and the cubicles themselves (carpeting, paint) were in need of repair. We were told that there was no money for upgrades and that we had to vacate our old building as quickly as possible so that the leased people could be turned back to save money. So we moved and made the best of our surroundings.

Within three months after we settled in, word came that we would have to move out "temporarily" while they did the carpet and paint. They would do a sort of musical chairs -one group would move out and double up with others in an unaffected area while the cubicles were taken down, new carpet laid and then everything put back together. So six months after we had originally moved in the first group did that very thing and two months later moved back to their new digs, this time with the second group bunking in with them just before Christmas. Two months later (and almost a year exactly from when we first moved here) we were back where we started. Go figure.

2. Sometimes I think my church is inhabited by lunatics. The things we do for the short run seem to make little sense over the long run. There is always the tension between demanding excellence versus giving grace (I'm applying this to quality of effort). It makes me wonder why/how the same people who would not allow a plumber to come out and leave a faucet still leaking after they paid for a repair are folks who allow ministry decisions/leaders that are just barely okay or make excuses for failures like, "well, they did their best", "it's all we can do for now". (I don't have as much a problem when a person really tries and fails- what I do have a big problem is when they don't really give it their best effort and it fails, that there are some who make excuses for the other's lack of diligence, laziness or downright sinfulness.) I do not believe that's giving grace, something that we as Christians need to do with one another constantly, but rather it is an enabling of co-dependent behavior. It frustrates me to no end. (BTW, if you think I'm talking about you right now, I probably am!!!! See yourself and knock it off. Jesus deserves your best, not your excuses.)

Ok, that's it. I think I had more when I started out but I forgot what they were. When I remember, I'll post some more.

Our Women's Retreat - The Chocolate Boutique

I just noticed that I forgot to post on the TFB Women's Retreat we had last week at Pinecrest(probably because there was too much insanity at work this week). I mentioned last fall that we were doing Group's Chocolate Boutique: Where Women Taste and See That the Lord Is Good. This retreat-in-a-box format was new for us -normally, we have a speaker at a program camp like Forest Home or every other year we plan our own hotel retreat. This year we were unable to go to Forest Home and so we had to scramble to come up with our own in less than 5 months.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I was the Director of the retreat which meant recruiting the various leaders of the breakout sessions -the boutiques, crafts, worship, Big Group sessions and small groups. That turned out to be easy since we had an incredible team that volunteered for everything without me asking them. The facility was great, especially the food and I know that the ladies had a wonderful time. Our Worship Team of Karla, Casie and Laura did an excellent job all weekend. I liked how it spread the tasks out among so many different women -we had 14 total on the Design Team and it allowed for a variety of women to exercise their talents and spiritual gifts. Most of the women in attendance preferred the small group format to a lecture-style speaker although some thought it was a bit too light on Bible teaching. A couple of them thought I should've assigned a mandatory one hour quiet time before free-time (I guess 20 minutes of prayer and meditation by yourself in the prayer boutique was not enough.) Some complained it was too much like a Children's VBS (probably because we do Group's curriculum for our VBS too). Of course, they all liked eating chocolate. Whether or not this will have lasting spiritual impact, it is to early to see.

I posted a picture of the ladies here. You can see more down on my flickr banner at the right margin.

The Tawdry Life of Anna Nicole Smith

Normally, I do not comment on the sleazy world of celebreality. There is far too much hype and staged drama that it is often difficult to envision these people as anything other than caricatures of themselves. No person could have such an outlandish lifestyle in real life - real people need sleep, food, shelter and companionship; celebs seem to stay out all night, shoot movies all day while living on 500 calories a day and ignoring their family/friends. As all of them discover sooner or later, reality bites them back -their endless partying eventually lands them in a hospital or in rehab, and the wake up friendless and alone when the money runs out.

Miss Smith seems to have been the epitome of this. Here was a woman raised far from the spotlight in Texas but with one star quality, her appearance. She married and had a child as a teenager, eventually trading her waitressing/fast food jobs in for the life of a stripper. From there she became a Playboy centerfold, continued stripping and married an elderly billionaire. When he died she became embroiled in a legal battle over his estate, all the while trying to develop her acting/Hollywood career. Eventually, she had her own reality TV show in which no behavior on her part was too outrageous for the camera. She was public with her drinking and apparent drug use along with her numerous relationships. In this past year, she had won her US Supreme Court case, her stepson, with whom she was fighting over her husband's estate had died of cancer, she gave birth to a daughter out of wedlock, three days later her 19yearold son died of an overdose in front of her and two men were fighting over her daughter's paternity. Is it surprising that this woman is now dead? Now after her death, in addition to the first two men claiming paternity, Zsa Zsa's husband says he might be the father and ANS's sister believes that the father is Smith's long dead billionaire husband whose frozen sperm was used to imprenate her. Even on the radio tonight, someone was speculating that perhaps the father was ANS's own dead son. (Eeeeeew, if true!)

If she did not die by trying medicate herself into oblivion, I wouldn't know who would. This is where I will deviate from the typical commentary about her life -this is a person who definitely needed Jesus to intervene in her life. Now I cannot say for certainty either way about ANS's eternal destination, but looking at the evidence in the totality of her adult life, it did not appear that she was living for anything beyond her immediate earthly gratification. She may have been a good and kind person, perhaps even a devoted mother but when you see all the things she did that seemed to be so devoid of what God would've desired for her, I really must conclude that she was on the wrong path. You see, life is not about being the most glamorous, having the most money or enjoying household name recognition -all of which she certainly had at one point or another. It is living a life that pleases the One that made you. It's trusting in the One that loved you so much, He sacrificed Himself for you. Instead, she believed a lie that she needed implants so that men would love her, she needed money to satisfy every material, that alcohol (or drugs) was the way to alleviate her pain.

Too bad she did not heed the wise words of Solomon,"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised." Proverbs 31:30 (NLT) or of Jesus in Mark 8:36-37, "And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? Is anything worth more than your soul?" (NLT)

What Happened The Year You Were Born?

I got this quiz from Paul of Paul's Ponderings. Good to know that Jeffrey Dahmer and I have our birth year in common. Does anyone else think that including a dead serial killer on list of famous people born in 1960 to be a little macabre?

In 1960 (the year you were born)

Dwight Eisenhower is president of the US Sit-ins being after 4 black college students in North Carolina refuse to move from a deli counter when denied service A U-2 reconnaissance plane belonging to the US is shot down in the Soviet Union Hurricane "Donna" strikes the East Coast causing over 100 deaths in the US and the Antilles John F. Kennedy defeats Vice President Richard Nixon in the presidential race Cassius Clay (who later took the name Muhammad Ali) wins his first professional fight Michael Stipe, Tony Robbins, Bono, John F. Kennedy, Jr., and Jeffrey Dahmer are born Pittsburgh Pirates win the World Series Philadelphia Eagles win the NFL championship Montreal Canadiens win the Stanley Cup Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho is the top grossing film To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee is published The Beatles make their debut in Hamburg, Germany The Flintstones debut

What Happened the Year You Were Born?

So Very Cold

Well, this past weekend I was up at house in Lake Arrowhead hosting the TFB College group - you can read more of the details on Laura's blog. As I had jury duty on Friday, I could not leave until I had been dismissed for the day. This made me a bit nervous because it had snowed above the 900 foot level and temperatures were predicted to be in the teens (degrees Fahrenheit) making the roads both snowy and icy. I had snow chains just in case they hadn't snowplowed the roads. I made without having to put them on, but I did have a little snow berm in front of the house that my friends had to shovel away before I could park.

Fortunately, Laura and some of the students and arrived earlier -they turned on the water and the furnace and were in the process of lighting a fire in the fireplace.
I was soon nice and toasty warm in the house despite the 8 inches of snow on the ground outside. Even when I went outside to get some more firewood, I was okay due to my snow boots, gloves, hat, scarf and coat. I marvelled at the students who had neglected to bring such accessories despite the storm warnings plastered all over the news. I am a cold-natured person and do not like to be colder than is necessary so I own all the appropriate cold weather gear. Laura, on the other hand, likes cold weather and slept outside in her new 20 degree rated sleeping bag. I wisely slept next to the fireplace making sure that there was a log burning the whole night.

The next day was beautiful but the temps remained low; the three water bottles I had left overnight in the car were frozen solid the next morning. I picked up a few items in Cedar Glen and came back. For lunch, we all drove into the Village for Thai food. While the rest of the gang shopped or drank coffee, I walked to the lake edge to snap some photos. With the wind blowing off the lake, the wind chill must have been below zero because as I took my glove off to work the camera, my hand was nearly instantly frozen. I could not bear to take more than one or two pictures before putting my glove back on. (you can see my snow pics in the Flickr box on the right).

The point of my snow story? While I really like the beauty of a white winter, I am a SoCal girl through and through. I don't mind occasionally visiting the white stuff, but to struggle with driving in ice, wearing heavy clothes,having my hair frizz out and feeling cold for months on end is not my idea of fun. So for you people who have lived in the cold climates and like it, please keep it. I'll stick to the boringness of SoCal weather.